The Journal

1st of January, 2022


It is now 2022, and my signature brain fuzz has returned. Last night I was feeling excited for the new year, and I felt like I had a million things I wanted to do, all at once. I knew full well it was going to dissipate and leave me feeling lost and distracted, but I couldn't seem to do anything to stop it. So here I am, once more, a little stuck. I'm writing this down in notepad in the hopes that I can try to get my thoughts into words, organise them a bit.

The whole festive season went very well this year, both offline and online, and I enjoyed it a lot. I got some much needed upgrades to my tech, and some comfy blankets. I also got a calendar with many photos of guinea pigs on it, which I intend to actually use this time around. Last year the calendars I was gifted simply sat there and gathered dust. I think I need a little more analog input in my life, digital calendars never work for me.

It's hard to narrow down exactly what I want to do this month, as stated before, my brain is not working as hoped. But I have some general ideas. Firstly, there's a few updates to the site that I'd like to make. I have several ideas for pages or sections that I'd like to complete, as well as a few updates to pre-existing pages. My site has ended up a little neglected in recent months, and I intend on fixing that.

There's also talks to upgrade the main site, which I will be heavily involved in. I still like the current site design but man, many ways I'd love to improve it graphically. Give it a more unified look, perhaps. Gonna be neat!

Secondly, I want to continue working on improving my art and my reach as a ~content creator~ online. I'm ridiculously close to 800 followers now on Twitter, and I'd love to reach that milestone. I aim to create and post art regularly to all of my social media, with help from PostyBirb for a lot of it. It's been nice being able to get some money in while I'm stuck waiting for therapy.

Which brings me onto my next point. I want to really try my best with therapy. I want to see actual improvement, and I want to get away from my sick note and into work finally. Maybe even learn to drive at last. Though maybe that won't be this year, I'd still like to make progress towards it. Obviously, there's still much waiting to do, as I'm on the waiting list for therapy, and that'll take several more months yet, at best. But that's okay, I'm safe and secure and in no desperate rush to get through it, especially if I keep up with my art commissions.

On the subject of independence, I want to visit America! I'd love to see some of my online friends at last. It'd be a challenge, but it's worth it. It wouldn't be all of them, as they're spread all over the US, but even just visiting Pennsylvania would be wonderful. And I love to travel anyhow, so it'd be fun. I've just never travelled on my own before, let alone that far. It's always been with my family or with the school, so it'd be a new experience. I'm hoping as I learn new coping mechanisms for my anxiety, this'll become a more realistic prospect.

For now though, I'm going to go take my vitamin tablets and drink some water. My brain needs it.

cabybaba typing on a laptop

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